S.E.X

When I was younger, I COULD NOT, WOULD NOT say the word “sex” or “the ‘S’ word” as we used to call it.Whenever someone actually said the word sex, it was followed by “oohs and aaahs” and *hand over mouth* gestures.

I was privileged to attend a seminar on SEX. At church. Many people would probably wonder how, when and why the CHURCH would be TALKING about SEX. Sex has been perversed and un-sanctified by the world. We have been poisoned so much that we now see sex as a dirty immoral act (of course it is if done in the wrong place, wrong time, wrong people).

I sat right at the front of the auditorium during this “sex talk” and when the Pastor began to speak about sex, I didn’t know where to hide, and if my skin was any lighter I would have turned brighter than a ripe tomato! After some time I got more comfortable, I would have never thought that I would have EVER written a blog about sex, but the Spirit had other plans ;-)

I have pages and pages AND PAGES of notes and illustrations but I’m going to try and keep them as concise as I can so you don’t doze off.

• God's desire was for monogamous relationships. When He created A mate for Adam, He created ONE Eve for Adam
• God did not form Eve from clay/dust, but from one of Adam’s ribs. Holla ladies, we were NOT made from MUD but from blood (somehow that makes me feel like we have a one-up on the guys!) --- just remembered a quote:

“The woman was formed from a man’s rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. 

Not  from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. 

Under the arm to be protected and next to the heart to be loved.” 

• God took from Adam what was ‘feminine’ and put it in Eve, so that they could compliment each other (forget what you’ve been told about “he completes me”) -- men and women were created to compliment each other.

• If you have or have ever had sexual thoughts, thank God that you're NORMAL!! . We are hormonised (by God) not demonised (by the devil).

“God gave us a sex drive, but He also gave us a steering wheel and brakes as well.”

• Ideally, the order of events when it comes to sex should be:

Leave – leave your father and mother, i.e you need to be able to stand on your own 2 feet

Cleave – commit through marriage

Become one – consummate AFTER marriage.

•          Dating Biblical Style

a.       Be the right person. We all want to be with Mr or Mrs. Right, but are you making sure you’re the best you can be for your future husband or wife?

b.   Walk in love – (with each other) through mutual respect, prayer and enriching each other’s lives

c.   Fix your hopes on God – not on each other. A mistake that often occurs in relationships is that people often make each other the be all and end all of each other’s lives. The alpha and Omegas of each… when it should be God. Truth be told, people disappoint, but God is constant.

d.   Failure = Repeat 1 + 2 +3

• Each of us had a hypothetical black dog and white dog lurking within us. Almost like the angel and devil illustration used in many movies. The white dog represents purity and moral acts, and conversely the black dog represents impurity, immorality. Either one of these “dogs” can manifest in your life but it depends on which dog you feed.
• Don’t lie to yourself saying that you just casually play around with sin, and linger on the edge of sin, because one day, you WILL fall in because the way the brain works is as follows:

STIMULUS ---> STORAGE---> RETRIEVAL

What you put in, goes into storage and can be retrieved at any time. You need to hold EVERY thought captive. The moment your thoughts begin to wonder or become dirty or perverted, pray and get rid of them before they have being in your life.

• Sex is reserved for marriage and you are regarded as “whole” if you enter into marriage as a virgin. However, some people may along the way been defiled or “lost”/given away their virginity. There’s still hope. Just because you are no longer “whole” physically does not mean you are beyond retrieval. There are steps that can be followed by anyone wishing to live in sexual purity:
  1. Confess – to God and to people you can trust and are comfortable with
  2. Repent – turn away from the sins. If you were going one way, turn the OTHER direction
  3. Receive the cleansing – God sayd when you repent, He remembers your sin no more and as far as the East is from the West, so your past sins are from you.
  4. Take a fresh walk on the straight and narrow.
  5. Involve others – have accountability partners 2 or 3 people to speak to and to help you with your walk.

"For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;."

Galatians 5:17-19 

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

1 Corinthians 6:15-20

Is God on online?

We spend hours and hours on end, updating our statuses, uploading, downloading, tweeting, blogging, googling, BBM-ing the list is endless. I mean, there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying in touch with the world, but of the hours in a day,  how many do spend online and how many do you spend with God? Do you check your Facebook before you check out His Book? Do you know what your friends are doing, where and with who but have no idea what Psalms 25:4 says?

Technology is great, I mean you are able to connect with MILLIONS of people literally at the click of a button, but I also find that there is a curse attached as well. Many of us are so used to living in cyberspace and have lost our touch. Some people don't even know how to have a proper conversation anymore because they are so used to "lol-ing" "lmao-ing" and "rotfl-ing". Lots of us have the lost the ability to really LAUGH, SMILE, HUG, FEEL because we have been inanimated by :-) :-D :-/ and so on.

We  have become narcisitic (the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness), and most of the time people get a good photo taken, the first thought is "this is my new profile pic". Hours and hours are spent trying to get the perfect "bathroom shots".

Instead of enjoying and savouring moments with friends, family and lovers, we are usually too busy taking pictures we can "show off" to the world or thinking what our next status will be.

We have become so wrapped up in self and moved away from our first love: Him. Sometimes, I watch my Facebook, Twitter feeds, and see how much information (TMI) people put out there. All i can do is SMH (pun intended!). It's funny how many people say they'll never accept their parents' friend requests, or will leave Twitter the moment their parents join. that should say something about what you're putting out there! Why are we so desperate to have people know what, when and how we're doing what, when we claim there aren't enough hours in the day and complain that we don't have enough time with God.

We don't have enough time because we're spending the time we do have on the wrong things.

Whatever it is in your life you put before God is an idol.

"If Facebook ever shut down you'd see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in peoples faces screaming "Do you like this?! DO YOU?!"

"Dance like the photo isn't being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Tweet like no one is following."

Shake off that "Exam Fever"

So, it's that time of year again when all roads lead to the exam room. It's funny how a semester's worth of work boils down to a THREE HOUR PAPER.
This is the time when people usually realise what work they should have been doing when they were out partying, shopping, gossiping or just sleeping!
This is usually the time also when people start looking for that dusty Bible that's been somewhere under the bed and seeking God because sometimes, only God can pull them through.


I draw SO MUCH strength from the Bible because the promises and comforting words are still so relevant.


Many people feel stressed and overwhelmed during exams but think of it this way: if you put in the hours now, it'll be so worth it when you reap the good results, and what you lack in sleep, social life and other at the moment, you will be MORE than able to make up for when exams are over.


One of the common features that resonate in many students during exams is the late nights and early mornings.
I find that waking up is so much harder during exams but I always remind myself that "A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber." (Proverbs 24:33-34)
BLUNT.


By the end of a semester people are tired, despondent and are suffering from information overload but the Lord says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Cast you cares and burdens upon Him and He will give you rest.


Anxiety, panic and general disorder of the mind are rife, but we are told "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6) Simple.

As you study and prepare, pray before you tackle your work. The Word says "Commit your works to the Lord and they WILL be established." (Proverbs 16:3)



Don't be fearful of exams, but know that you were not given a Spirit of fear (yes, fear is a spirit), but of power and of love, and of a sound mind (or good judgment) (2 Timothy 1:7).


Pray and still spend time with God and as you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4) 


Lastly, pray for favour with the markers as you write and make sure your faith does not lie in the wisdom of men but in the power of God." (1 Cor 2:5). The battle is the Lord's.

He shall make you the head and not the tail; and you shall be above only and not be beneath." (Deut 28:13)

Here are a few tips:

• Make sure you have enough stationery. It may sound silly but you don't need something like a pen that's run out of ink throwing you off. I always make sure i have like 5 of everything for every exam, just in case :)

• Be early for the exam! An exam is not the ideal situation to want to make a grand "fashionably late" entrance. If anything, all you'll get is dirty looks from the people who were there half an hour before. Being early helps you stay calm and collected before the exam as opposed to being in a panic and flustered because usually when you're late and running on "JUST IN TIME" stuff generally starts going wrong one thing after the other.
• Sleep early! People often want to squeeze in a last minute exam (CRAM) session the night before an exam. Don't do it if your exam is in the morning. You need rest so you can be on top of your game in the morning.
• Pack everything you'll need the night before, to prevent the morning rush and forgetting stuff in the chaos

May you reap harvests from where you have sown seed.

Do your best and trust Him to do the rest.

Know When To Walk Away

Most of us have been told or taught about perseverance, the art of pushing and pushing until you get what you want. But pushing and pushing isn’t always the right thing to do, because what we want and what God knows we need may not be the same thing. Sometimes, you just have to let go, give up and walk away. 

BUT, when is enough enough? When is it OK to let go??

The key word here is WHEN… the importance is in the timing. There is a tremendous amount of respect to be gained for trying and failing as opposed to never trying and never knowing what the outcome would have been. So try what you feel you must try but KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY! It’s not about trying half-heartedly so you can have an excuse to give up. There will be times when you have to keep pressing to get what you want, but I believe that in those times, God will let u know, He will renew your strength and assure u along the way to keep pressing.

So often we find ourselves stressing and pushing and getting no results, getting angry and frustrated with Him, not because He has forsaken us, but because we are going after what He has not endorsed. Think about it, pray about it. That friendship, relationship, that place you REALLY want to go… sometimes, things don’t work out because they are NOT supposed to. Accept it.

I have a saying that I like to use a lot, "Throwing on my Louboutins" fellow shoe lovers should know that Louboutins are the famous red-soled shoes by Christian Louboutin. It's the statement I use when I am DONE! Done with a situation or whatever it may be, and getting ready to walk away in my hypothetical Louboutins :)

How often do we hear stories of women who were cheated on and say they “saw the signs”, but ignored them because they were hell-bent on making something that wasn’t supposed to work, work. Open your eyes, ears and  heart. You will know when to stop, and walk away.